Letting Go….
This is a hard concept for many. The idea of letting go of things or people can be hard. So many of us want to hold on to a glimmer of hope that things will turn out the way you envisioned it. The reality is many of us hang on for too long to something that deep down we know isn’t going to happen. I personally used to struggle with this… BAD! It has gotten better over the years but I still hold on to some things longer than I should. Friendships were hard for me to let go of. Once I did, my life improved exponentially. I stopped trying, initiating things and well basically stopped all contact. It really showed me who was my friend and who wasn’t. I don’t make time for people who don’t make time for me. End.Of.Story…..
Recently I met up (through a friend) with a person who used to me my person. She was my confidant, my advisor, my mentor so to speak but most of all my friend. Or so I thought. Now let me be very clear here the circumstances around why we broke ties was completely my doing. I said to her do NOT ever choose me over your career… and she didn’t, which I don’t blame her for at all. What I did have a hard time with is the complete disregard of well… me. It killed me knowing I was so disposable. It was a hard pill to swallow let me tell ya. It was also a realization that I had to come to terms with… others don’t invest and love the way I do and I cant expect them to. I don’t give up on the people I love no matter the external circumstances. I don’t give up my morals and beliefs no matter what or who challenges that. I don’t turn my back on the people I love and care about regardless of what is challenging that. Most of all I fight for those I love. I mean FIGHT! I have lost jobs and friends because of it and I would do it again and again. I’m loyal to a fault and sometimes it bites me in the ass. With that said I also don’t force relationships and friendships. It’s a bitch to balance and most of the time leaves me feeling like shit. Ok, back to this person. Seeing her again was so nerve wracking for me and it shouldn’t have been. Things went great! It was like nothing had happened. I do believe the time and space and healing on both parts had a lot to do with it. I’m thankful for that. We all chatted and shared our lives just like old times. It was very therapeutic for me and I’m so glad my friend pushed for it to happen. As we left she gave me a hug and we went on our separate ways.
This concept also goes for relationships. Someone recently came back into my life. It’s hard coming to the realization that I fucked it up the first time around and well now it’s too late. I’m learning to let it go but it’s not fun. The constant reminders of this person is annoying. Ha but in all seriousness I’m a very different person than I was a year and a half ago. I’m in a place that I can look at the situation and say… “well shit that sucks but I guess it’s for the best” and move on. Again I’m not forcing anything this year. If it’s meant to be the universe will find a way.
Moral of the story… LET IT GO! If it isn't bringing you peace and happiness… let it go. If it feels forced or isn’t reciprocated… let it go. If it leaves you feeling like shit… let it go. If it consumes your life in any way and hinders your everyday life… let it go! Sure its gonna hurt like hell. You may have a small breakdown and be brokenhearted for a bit, but its better in the long run. Sit in those feelings, don’t ignore them. Feel it… heal from it and learn from it. That’s how we grow as humans. SO… best of luck to all you out there that need to “let it go”. It fucking sucks but it is totally worth it for your own well being and sanity! You got this!
