Trust
Can we just talk a second about trust? Trust is a huge deal to me. So many people over the years have broken my trust which in return makes me not want to trust anyone. I myself am a very trustworthy person, but I do not trust others. Something that I have learned is that I need to stop expecting from people what I give. That was a very hard pill to swallow.
I was always taught as a child to not trust anyone, I guess that comes from having a cop as a father. I was always taught to try to see the best of people, but that isn’t always the case. Over the years that has become very apparent. I live by the mantra, hope for the best be prepared for the worst. Now that may not be the best outlook on life, but it has got me out of some pretty bad situations and saved me from a potential bad situation. I know a lot of people tell me that is not the best way to look at life, but nowadays you have to.
Now lack of trust when it comes to relationships and friendships is very hard. I have been shit on so many times in my life by people I care about, that I just expected from everyone. Even when those people give me absolutely zero reason not to trust them. I have a friend of mine who continuously tells me that I have to trust that people will not do or say the opposite of what they’re telling me. It’s very hard to trust someone after they have broken your trust, but it’s even harder to trust someone when they have given you zero reason not to. I know that sounds ridiculous, but hear me out. When someone has broken your trust, you already know what kind of person they are. You’ve come to expect a certain way from them. When someone comes along and gives you absolutely no reason not to trust them, you get suspicious. It’s not something I’m used to so it’s hard for me to fathom that somebody would not lie to me.
Now as I say this out loud, It does sound a bit ridiculous. I am very aware of how ridiculous it sounds, and I am working on it. It’s very hard to when literally everyone in your life has let you down one way or another. I also understand that if I’m going to have any type of meaningful relationship that I need to trust that the other person is doing what they are saying. It’s still very very hard for me. I’ve been screwed over so much that when I start to see good or get treated good I always think it’s a trap. As fucked up as that is, that’s how I think. I will say I have come a very long way. I have let people in, some I shouldn’t have but that’s a lesson learned. As long as I have people around me that will continuously remind me that there are good people in this world, I think I’m gonna be OK. But if you cross me we are done…. Because the only other thing easier for me than not trusting someone, is cutting people in my life. ✌🏻